It took me 9 days to break the flow. I skipped the post yesterday, because I had such a great time at the spa, I completely forgot about the challenge. It was a special day with my family, and my personal reward for the hard work of the past few weeks. So I dedicated it to complete relaxation and indulgence. I don’t mean to give up, but I feel sad I couldn’t complete this challenge perfectly. Here is the reason why:
Maybe it is my personality (you know I’m rather a thinker than a doer) or because I never learned self-motivation, but I’ve always had problems keeping up promises to myself. I’m much better sticking to a plan when there is somebody who supervises me, checks the results or nudges me to keep going. I know this is not an entrepreneurial mindset (that I really need if I want to freelance or have my company at one point) and I want to change this.
The purpose of this challenge is not only to develop my writing skills (I’m not even sure it’s developing, because I’m not really focused on the technical aspect in these short posts, but more like the feeling of writing every day) but also to improve self-discipline. I want to teach myself to stick to a plan, to feel the weight of responsibility even though nobody holds me accountable.
9 days is more than my usual persistence span, so I’m already proud of myself. On the other hand, I shouldn’t be proud of myself just because I’m doing better than usual. I should be proud when I completed the challenge and I really accomplished something. What do you think? Am I too hard on myself? Should I give credit for baby steps, or should I feel bad because I skipped a day.
My feelings are controversial. I was so happy to spend some quality time with the people I love the most, I don’t mind not completing the challenge perfectly. Probably I overthink this, but I believe for my personal development I have to learn how to keep the work-life balance, when is it okay to relax, how to reward myself and how to prioritize.
(368 words, 40 mins)