Step by step: a bit of positivity for every day

In my previous post I talked about the life changing effect of positive thinking. I also told you that it takes time and self-discipline to fully embrace the mindset. Now I would like to share a few tips & tricks that helped me on my way.

FIRST AND FOREMOST: BE GRATEFUL. There are trillion things in your life that you can be grateful for. All the small things that at the moment seem natural or ordinary is a potential source of happiness. If you try to look at them so.

PRACTICE BEING GRATEFUL:

  • Try to imagine your life without essentials (morning coffee, car, cookie-dough icecream), it’ll be easier to appreciate all these everyday moments.
  • Train your brain to notice special moments and take a mental gratefulness note. Just tell yourself how thankful you are and immerse in the moment.
  • Take 5 minutes in the evening to reflect on your gratefulness notes, and absorb the warm feeling of positive energies.
  • Do a visual gratefulness wall, like I did. Every time when you look at this collection of memories you will feel blessed.

IMG_20180502_123253

WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU LEMON…IT IS TIME TO OPEN THE TEQUILA: Every time when something is not going according to your plans, try to find a positive angle. Here are some examples from my recent tequila shots.

  • My boyfriend broke up with me out of the blue; it is time to focus on myself and put all my energy into my career\body\intellectual goals.
  • I didn’t get hired to the place I applied; they give me some good feedback, so I learned a lot and for the next interview I’m going to be more prepared.

Of course it doesn’t mean you’ll not feel hurt, but if you drive your energies to focus on the positives, you don’t have the capacity to overthink the negatives.

MEDITATE: Take your time to clear the negative energies from your body and invite the positives in.

EXERCISE: Do some physical activity to get rid of the excess energy (that you otherwise would spend on overthinking). A relaxed body and mind after a long workout is like a fresh start.

These are just a few steps on a long path, but the more you practice, the more natural it gets to think positively. Keep it up 🙂

Advertisements

It is all about the attitude: positive thinking

Do you know the tingling feeling in your heart when you can’t think about anything else but how beautiful life is? When everything seems right on track and you are full of positive thoughts? That is how I usually feel. Do you know why? Because I want to.

What I learned in the past few years is that everything is perception. There are so many things going on in our life, and how we experience them is only based on our attitude. We can feel sorry for ourselves, sink into sadness and sorrow in hard times, or we can toughen up and change our angles. It is possible to consciously train our brain to focus on the bright side, find the positive aspect even in seemingly terrible situations.

This kind of mental shift is not easy; it takes time and a good deal of self-discipline and commitment.  The first step is to realize that there might be a problem with our mental attitude. I used to easily get trapped in dark places because I was so fixed on my own misery I completely forgot to appreciate the happy moments. After a few years slipping in and out of this melancholic state of mine, I realized that self-pity is not going to solve my problems. I can stay this grumpy, sour person or I can do something about it and convert myself into an optimistic, positive person. Because I’m the only one who can turn my situation around.

It took me a long time to develop the positive mindset. I had to accept that life is hard and it is up to me how I handle the ups and downs. I can’t expect life to be a magical fairytale with cotton candy clouds and glitter pooping unicorns all the time (like I used to), but I can still enjoy the ride. I have to keep my eyes on the things that make me happy, and handle the stressful parts as collaterals.

By consciously focusing on positive thinking, I haven’t let myself slip for a long time. It makes me proud and empowered.

 

Conscious consumerism was much easier when I didn’t have the money

After arriving to Denmark, I couldn’t find a proper job. I did what any other decent student would do: cleaned, babysitted, distributed flyers to be able to pay my rent. I lived from paycheck to paycheck so it’s needless to say I never had money for the hottest FENTY shoes or new Iphone something. Honestly, I stopped craving them. By having no money I learned how to be grateful for what I already have and focus on the small things that make me happy, instead of longing for expensive excess stuff.

When I moved to Copenhagen in September my life had changed. I was lucky enough to find a proper job, I have a steady monthly income so I don’t have to worry about rent and food any more. Indeed, I have some extra money I have no idea how to handle.

For some people it’s not even a question: obviously spend it all, buy whatever comes in your way. Well, that is not something I can do. I’m not going to spend money just because I can, I want to spend money because I have a reason to do so.

In the past two years I’ve become a conscious consumer out of necessity, a budget minimalist and I loved it. I experienced all the benefits of consuming less and living more. Even though I have some money to spare now, I don’t want to go back to the old mindless spending phase. Yet I feel some kind of pressure looking at all those numbers on my account. I even tried to buy my way out of a heartbreak. Dreadful.

This shows I profoundly need to learn how to keep my mind focused and not let it influenced by artificially engineered desires. I have my process of how to stay a conscious consumer in the hard times.

After I lay my eyes on a thing

  • My conscious\minimalist side asks: Do I really need this?
  • My environmental conscious side asks: How sustainable is this?
  • My economical side asks: Can I afford it?

Then I spend days answering this questions, making lists of pros and cons, visualizing my life with and without the object, asking my friends and family for support. After all the sweat I usually decide not to buy the thing.

This is a very time and energy consuming process, but I believe it is only the adjusting period. When you suddenly have money to spend and you want to pamper yourself but at the same time want to stay true to your minimalist values. In a few months, when I got used to this new situation, resisting such urges won’t be difficult at all.

Have you experienced something like this? I’m interested in your stories so please share.

Am I going to feel less hurt if I buy this thing?

To understand my current emotional situation you should know that I have quite difficult few days behind me. Two weeks ago got dumped and then, 3 boxes of ice cream and endless amount of kleenex later, undumped. Since this tiny incident, I’m trying to process all the emotional baggage that my boyfriend’s momentary confusion left me with.

And as with all the emotional crisis, comes the unconscious need for gratification. I find myself scrolling through webshops looking at trendy clothes and expensive electronic gadgets. Luckily I don’t have the patience to spend more than five minutes with this mindless activity, yet there is something stuck in my mind. I found this camera on sale that I think I should buy.

I’ve been thinking about buying a camera for a few months and now the price is 40% off. Rationally it would be a smart decision to buy, but am I acting rational here? If I hadn’t been upset, I wouldn’t have looked at the webshop. I was perfectly happy before I knew about the camera, and I’m sure I could live a full life without it in the future. But I still feel this urge, almost physically pressing me from inside.

For a short period I actually thought I want that camera. Then I realized what I really want is to make my pain go away. For some reason one part of my brain believes spending money on unnecessary stuff will solve my problem. Fortunately the other part knows, that distracting my thoughts and compensating my emotional damage with material stuff is not the solution.

So here I am, cought up in the middle of a consumerist dilemma instead of focusing on fixing my broken heart. I feel lucky that I understand the situation and the true meaning of my actions. It is not about the camera, it is about me. The sooner I get better emotionally the sooner the desire for a new thing goes away.

My minimalist room in Copenhagen

As I mentioned in my previous post, I’ve just moved to Copenhagen to start yet another education. Leaving home is not only emotionally demanding but also technically challenging. Finding a room, packing, moving all the stuff, unpacking… this is not the fun part of the adventure. This is something you have to get through so you can enjoy the expat life. Especially in Copenhagen, finding a room is a tough business. I was quite lucky to stay in this amazing room until September.

It was love at first sight. This is exactly a room that I can imagine myself living in. Maybe a bit oversized for my minimalist lifestyle. I’ve never had this much space, and I don’t have the stuff to fill it up. As a wannabe minimalist I moved here with only one suitcase (that you can see on the picture). Basically I have some clothes and bathroom essentials but not much more. I don’t like to surround myself with decorations or knickknacks because I enjoy the simplicity and cleanness around me. Obviously when I stared to really use the room, my clothes ended up on the couch so it wasn’t this tidy all the time, but the basic concept of minimal furnishing, the huge windows, the wooden floor combined with white as a dominant color is absolutely a dream come true.

What I would have added to the room:

  • Some green plans so the space becomes more friendly and lively
  • A huge table as my ‘office’ to inspire me to work harder
  • A huge mirror, because I’m a girl
  • A clothes rack to keep my stuff organized

 

room

 

 

Ahogy az előző postban már említettem, nemrég költöztem ki Koppenhágába, hogy ismét újabb tanulmányokba kezdjek. Elköltözni otthonról nem csak érzelmileg megterhelő, de sokszor a kivitelezés is kihívást jelent. Minden alkalommal ugyan az a folyamat: találni megfelelő szobát, összepakolni, a cuccokat valahogy eljuttatni az új helyre, ott kipakolni… ez a kaland kevésbé mókás része. Ezen túl kell esni, hogy aztán teljes mértékben élvezni lehessen a külföldön töltött időt. Főleg itt Koppenhágában, szobát találni hatalmas kihívás, ezért is érzem magam szerencsésnek, hogy ideiglenes megoldásnak egy ilyen szobába sikerült beköltöznöm.

Szerelem volt első látásra. Pont ilyen szobában tudnám elképzelni az elkövetkezendő pár évemet. Az én minimalista életmódomhoz kicsit talán túlméretezett, hiszen egy bőröndnyi cuccal érkeztem. Sosem volt még ekkora helyem, és (szerencsére) nincs is annyi holmim, hogy megtöltsem. Csak egy pár ruhát hoztam magammal, meg fürdőszobai cuccokat, de mást nem nagyon. Se dekoráció, se csetreszek, mert én azt élvezem, ha letisztultság és az egyszerűség vesz körül. Természetesen, amikor használatba vettem a szobát, akkor szekrény híján a ruháim a kanapén végezték, és ezért egy kicsit rendetlenebbnek látszott, de alapvetően a minimális bútorozás, a fehér, mint domináns szín, hatalmas ablakok és a fapadló teljes mértékben egy valóra vált álom.

Amit hozzátettem volna a szobához:

  • Egy pár zöld növény, hogy még barátságosabb, élettel telibb legyen a szoba
  • Egy óriási asztalt, ami az ’irodámként’ funkcionált volna, hogy motiváljon a munkára
  • Egy egészalakos tükröt, mert lányból vagyok
  • Egy ruhaállványt, hogy rendezetten tudjam tárolni a holmiaimat.

10times challange #10

Almost unbeliveable, but here is the last outfit for the 10times challange. Turned out this shirt is a perfect beachwear as well.


Akármilyen hihetetlen is, de elérkezett a tizedik outfit. Mint kiderült az ing kiválóan alkalmas strandruhának is.

 

100th outfit

10times challange #9

Oh gosh guys, I’m so not up to date. This summer is crazy, I lost focus during the past few months. Haven’t even finished the 10times challenge I started 2 months ago. Shame on me big time. But I’m ready to return, and here is the 9th outfit:
I’m wearing a Mango dress under the shirt I bought in IJ Hallen, Amsterdam’s biggest flee market. If you happen to be in Amsterdam, and up for some treasure hunt, I would totally recommend to visit this place.
I’m also wearing my oldest but most loved Chuck Taylor. I bought it 7 years ago. Falling apart but still rocks.


Azt a mindenit de régen postoltam már, szégyellem is magam rendesen. Ez a nyár nagyon pörgősre sikeredett, és őszintén bevallom kicsi elveszítettem a fókuszt. Még a 10szeres kihívást sem fejeztem be, amit 2 hónapja kezdtem el. Szégyen gyalázat. De itt az ideje visszatérni, ezért fogadjátok sok szeretettel a 9. outfitet:
Az ing alatt egy használtan vásárolt Mangó ruha van, amit Amsterdam legnagyobb bolhapiacán, az IJ Hallen-en vettem. Ha arra jártok mindenképp érdemes ellátogatni, kincseket lehet találni.
A cipő pedig az első Chuck Tailor-om, ami nagyon a szívemhez nőtt az elmúlt 7 év alatt. Már csak pillanatok választják el a totális megsemmisüléstől, de én büszkén hordom amíg a lábamon marad.

9th

10times challange #7 & #8

I’m  posting these two outfits together, because we could only manage to take very few acceptable pictures. So here they are.

Outfit 7: off the shoulder, sleeves wrapped around the waste

Outfit 8: shirt as a skirt. I think this is what I would really wear in my everyday life.


Azért postolom együtt ezt a két outfitet, mert mind a kettőnél csak nagyon kevés használható képet sikerült összehoznunk.

Outfit 7: váll nélkülivé alakítottam az inget, az ujjakat pedig a derekam köré csavartam.

Outfit 8: ingből szoknya koncepció. Azt hiszem eddig ez áll hozzám a legközelebb, ezt hordanám a mindennapokban is a legszívesebben.

7th outfit

 

 

8th outfit

10times challange #6

In the name of sustainability I stopped buying clothes almost two years ago. Since then my favorite way of having new stuff is either swap or thrift. I got this jeans from my friend, and altered it to my taste by cropping it uneven. And I’m wearing my fav Vans (3 years old) with the cat print. I have nothing from the latest fast fashion collection, but I look kind of acceptable, right?


A fenntarthatóság nevében 2 éve leálltam a ruhavásárlással. Azóta a ruháim 90%a öröklésből vagy turiból származik. Ezt a farmert például egy barátnőmtől kaptam, és levágtam belőle egy kicsit, hogy a saját ízlésemre formáljam. A cipő pedig a kedvenc Vans-em, legalább 3 éves. Ugye hogy nem is nézek ki olyan gázul ahhoz képest, hogy semmi sem a legutolsó fast fashion kollekcióból való?

összes1

 

10times challang #5

Here is the 5th outfit for the 10times challange: layering. I’m wearing a handmedown dress over the shirt. What I love about current fashion is that everything is trend. Whatever you do is fashion, and if someone does not understand it, they are incompetent. So be creative with the clothes you already own, mix and match them as you feel.


Itt az ötödik outfit a kihíváshoz: a rétegezés varázsa. Az ing felett egy örökölt ruha van rajtam. Amit imádok a mostani divatban, hogy minden divat. Annyi féle trend van, hogy szinte már nincsenek is trendek. Ezért bárhogyan is öltözz fel, az tuti divatos lesz, ha valaki pedig nem érti a stílusod az csak az ő szűk látókörének köszönheti. Ezért légy bátor, és találj ki új kombinációkat a már meglévő ruháidból.összes